June 2013
When I'll be a mom, my advice will be this
Mom, he broke my heart:
Mom, I got an F:
Mom, I had a fight with my best friend:
Mom, I have exams soon and I don’t know where to start:
REBLOG EVERY TIME I SEE THIS.
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
Our local animal rehab center just posted pics of this owl who got rescued
And I really can’t with him
oh my god
What even
They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no
It’s fucking errol
“I tried to drown my sorrows, but those bastards learned how to swim.”
—Frida Kahlo (via sunoaisha)
my new years resolution is to do nothing bc i know i’ll follow through with it
- 2004: fear that people of the internet find me in real life.
- 2012: fear that real life people find me on the internet.
i heard you were talking shit about sam winchester
person:”that shows so stupid”
me:
do you ever look around at the big crowds of people around you and realize everyone has a story and memories and family and troubles and achievements and a first kiss and a broken heart but you’ll never know any of it and every human life is really intricate and expansive but oh they’ve walked into a shop and you’ll never see them again and you’ll never know just what they were thinking
when somebody actually texts me first and wants to hang out
Dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing son
I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever
If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid
i dont even use tumblr anymore
tumblr uses me
when your green shell hits someone in mario kart
when your internet isnt really working well and your whole dash is just blank squares and you still scroll through it attentively
“Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I’ve heard educated white people say, ‘slavery was 400 years ago.’ No it very wasn’t. It was 140 years ago…that’s two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That’s how recently you could buy a guy.”
—Louis C.K. (via 30thcenturyboy)
YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY AT 4AM
EVERYTHING
“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are things you get ashamed of, because words make them smaller. When they were in your head they were limitless; but when they come out they seem to be no bigger than normal things. But that’s not all. The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried; they are clues that could guide your enemies to a prize they would love to steal. It’s hard and painful for you to talk about these things … and then people just look at you strangely. They haven’t understood what you’ve said at all, or why you almost cried while you were saying it.”
—Stephen King, The Body (via larmoyante)
The year is 2030. A family is sitting round a dinner table.
- Child: Can you pass the salt?
- Mother: *glares*
- Mother: Now, you know that's not polite. Ask nicely.
- Child: *sighs*
- Child: Swiggity swalt, pass me the salt.
- Mother: Very good.
